A kiss on the hand

It was a beautiful spring afternoon. The wedding mass ended and guests waiting to congratulate the newlyweds formed a rather long queue just outside the church. Somewhere near the end of the line stood a distinctively women-only group: five or six bride's girlfriends, all hopeless spinsters (as she was too a few months before). I didn't precisely fit in, being already six years married, but as my husband could not attend the service, I joined the group just to have some company. There was a lot of girly chatter: one person commented on bride's dress, another started recalling details of the ceremony:

"Have you noticed when he kissed her hand after putting the ring on? I just loved it. It's so incredibly tender and fitting. It's a shame that men do not kiss ladies' hands anymore..."

"And how do you feel about a woman kissing a man's hand, then?" I asked (rather thoughtlessly; I didn't have anything particular in mind, just get carried by conversation).

"No, this freaks me out. I know they say it's about kissing the ring rather than his hand, but it just doesn't feel right."

Hmm. My interlocutor had some very specific ideas about what felt right. Good for her, as long as she isn't going to force them on everybody else...

My thoughts suddenly flew umpteen years back. I remembered an equally beautiful spring afternoon in my high-school sophomore year. I was walking down a bridge on my way home, holding hands with the guy who was (several years later) to become my husband. We weren't even actually dating yet, just being friends, but already with a clear romantic overtones. Or at least I was getting romantic, while he just benevolently accepted my little gestures of affection. We had never before as much as kissed; that hand-holding was the closest contact we engaged in.

While we were walking together (and probably talking, even though I could remember precious little from that conversation!), I began to feel warm and a little dizzy, overwhelmed with tenderness and shear admiration for him. He was definitely one of the smartest kids in school in terms of academic achievements, but also a young man of as much unfailing commonsense and high morals as could ever be found in an eighteen-year-old (or so I believed; but since I still believe that, there is no need to make such a reservation). Seeking a way to express those feelings, I suddenly raised his hand perhaps to shoulder level and kissed it eagerly. And the very same moment my heart sinked. Did I just do the weirdest thing imaginable? Was I crazy for doing that? Did I freak him out?

It turned out, I didn't. He didn't say anything; he accepted a kiss on the hand -- and my admiration -- graciously, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. (Well, it certainly felt natural for me.) Then we just continued to walk, holding hands. But something was being born between the two of us, something that in due course was to become the ever-growing marital love that we live today. We actually repeated this hand-holdind and hand-kissing ritual on a few further occasions (although soon we moved on to more passionate kinds of kisses).

Nowadays, if I happen to kiss my husband's hand, it is more often than not in sexual context, where the hand is just one of several body parts which are getting this sort of attention. But sexual or not, it's still an expression of my deep-rooted feelings of appreciation, admiration and love.

At this point I had to abandon my sweet musings, since it came my turn to congratulate the newlyweds. "You probably think (I said, half-jokingly, to them) that it is impossible to love anybody more than you love each other now. Believe me: this is just not true. You can get to love each other more and more every day. And this is the best thing about being married. And this is what I wish you two." And then I gave them the flowers and smiled, as much to them as to my own thoughts. And the bride smiled back.

Katriel

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2008 Apr 29 - 15:14 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Simple Expressions

I think we totally miss out on too many opportunities to show little, simple expressions of our affection. Sometimes we only focus on expressing our intimacy in the bedroom or behind closed door.

Kissing someone's hand is a simple elegant way of expressing one's feelings that can say so much.

The biggest messages can be said without a word.

by ozzie on 2008 Apr 29 - 23:34 | reply to this comment

A kiss on the hand

The first kiss that ever passed between my husband and me was a kiss on the hand. We were sitting together in his car, holding hands and talking (as we did most nights, in our mounting eagerness to learn everything about each other) when suddenly I felt such an upswelling of love and affection for him that I felt I had to express it somehow or I would burst into tears. I raised his hand to my lips, bent my head, and kissed it: it felt so beautiful and natural, a relief to give him that token so that maybe he would understand what I could not say.

I still love to kiss his hands when he amazes me, and when he then takes that hand and strokes my cheek, and tilts my head upwards so that I meet his eyes the most powerful feeling of love and belonging flows between us.

Thank you for sharing your story.

by Mia on 2008 May 2 - 14:39 | reply to this comment

Not Strange

I am still young and nowhere near marriage, but I would have never thought that any woman would consider kissing her partner on the hand to be weird! I kiss my boyfriend of a bit over a year on the hand when I feel appreciative, thankful, and compliant. I enjoy curling up between his legs on the floor while he is sitting and leaning forward to kiss him on the hand. It feels sort of like an acceptance of ownership to me. We are not in a Taken in Hand relationship, but he has certainly earned my submission and kissing him on the hand is my way of showing him that I accept him as my protector and leader.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2008 May 14 - 16:46 | reply to this comment

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