Non-violent communication

Submitted by Angela T on Wed, 04/09/2013 - 12:22

Don't miss this fascinating piece by Angela T.

One sexy momma

Submitted by Um on Sun, 25/08/2013 - 20:22

With the right attitude, becoming parents can be sexy and wonderful, as Um's example shows.

James Bond and Taken in Hand

Submitted by Angela T on Mon, 19/08/2013 - 22:45

Have you read the James Bond books? If not, Angela T suggests you give them a try!

How are we equal?

Submitted by Um on Wed, 24/07/2013 - 09:50

A question from Um.

Relinquishing control can be very powerful

Submitted by Mrs Lucky on Tue, 23/07/2013 - 04:43

Could your marriage benefit from giving up control to your husband?

He took me in hand by letting me fly

Submitted by Sophie B on Sun, 07/07/2013 - 09:48

This reader's husband was in charge all along, even when he let her take charge for a couple of years.

Men, show off your muscles! (We like it more than you think!)

Submitted by Toyen on Wed, 27/02/2013 - 14:03

Toyen urges men not to underestimate the erotic power of showing their superior strength.

She's still a girl under the tough menswear

Submitted by Cole on Fri, 21/12/2012 - 03:47

Cole argues that women look feminine even when they are trying to look tough and masculine, and that they are thus still attractive to men.

If you want to be in charge let go of anger

Submitted by Psychiatrist on Tue, 18/12/2012 - 03:46

If you are a man wanting to take charge in his marriage, or wanting to find a woman with whom to have a Taken In Hand relationship, don't miss this piece.

Finding a joyous balance

Submitted by Tal T on Mon, 10/12/2012 - 19:06

If you are a woman longing to be in a relationship in which the man wears the trousers, or if you long for your husband to take charge, don't miss this beautiful, inspiring and very helpful piece by Tal T.

Men in Taken In Hand relationships don't fear women

Submitted by Caleb on Mon, 10/12/2012 - 03:37

Caleb has some good advice for men.

Commit to solving problems

Submitted by Thad on Mon, 10/12/2012 - 02:05

Thad says that it is very possible for spouses to cooperate, and that if they do, they will be able to move their marriage in the right direction.

How can I describe this kind of relationship without sounding weird?

Submitted by The Taken In Ha... on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 22:51

A reader has asked: How can I describe this kind of relationship—for example, when talking to friends, co-workers or someone I'm dating—without sounding weird or kinky?

How did you figure out that this is what you wanted?

Submitted by Darren C on Sat, 24/11/2012 - 08:27

Darren C is curious.

Resistant to their own emancipation? Complicit in their own oppression? Self-hating collaborators? Yikes!

Submitted by The Taken In Ha... on Tue, 20/11/2012 - 20:49

Writing on theGuardian site, Cath Elliot doesn't think much of Taken In Hand women.

What can I do to calibrate Taken In Hand appropriately in the beginning of a relationship?

Submitted by Mayer M on Mon, 12/11/2012 - 07:43

Don't miss this fascinating post by Mayer M.

I want us to have a Taken In Hand relationship. How can I persuade my wife?

Submitted by The Taken In Ha... on Sun, 11/11/2012 - 14:53

This answer to the question I want us to have a Taken In Hand relationship. How can I persuade my wife? is strictly for husbands wanting to persuade their wives. If you are a wife wanting to persuade your husband, read the articles listed here instead.

It feels like respect

Submitted by Angela Z on Tue, 30/10/2012 - 08:14

To find out how and why being taken in hand could possibly feel like being respected, read Angela Z's sizzling insights.

To those who think he may never come around

Submitted by Fantine on Wed, 17/10/2012 - 11:27

Don't miss this piece by Fantine.

How do I express my need without making him feel inadequete?

Submitted by Mr and Mrs G on Sun, 14/10/2012 - 20:13

Mrs G would like to hear from other lovely, kind men. She does not want her desire for her wonderful husband to be in charge to make him feel unappreciated.

Him being strict makes harmless naughtiness nice

Submitted by Um on Sun, 07/10/2012 - 12:05

To make it possible for your wife to be ‘bad’ without harm to the relationship, be strict.

What practical steps can I take to take charge in our relationship?

Submitted by Robin F. on Mon, 01/10/2012 - 14:16

Robin is really hoping for some advice.

Chivalry and power in contemporary marriages

Submitted by Caleb on Sun, 23/09/2012 - 10:31

Don't miss this fascinating article by Caleb.

Eros in marriage

Submitted by Window on Mon, 17/09/2012 - 16:22

If you are a husband who finds it difficult to accept that something can be erotic and more broadly beneficial at the same time, don't miss this piece by Window.

What makes a husband love his wife?

Submitted by Summer on Wed, 05/09/2012 - 20:38

Summer reminds us that one cannot predict love and attraction by totting up who does what for whom. Personality and other more ineffable qualities matter too.

The "surrender date" idea

Submitted by thia on Tue, 04/09/2012 - 12:54

Thia has a fun idea that may be useful when you want to keep your private life private—or if you want to bring up the idea of Taken In Hand without exposing yourself or your relationship to unwelcome scrutiny.

Can a man develop the ability to take charge?

Submitted by vruchhoeft on Fri, 31/08/2012 - 21:21

Vruchhoeft argues that a man who has not taken charge in his marriage can develop his ability to take charge. How does she know? Because her own husband is such a man. He is now taking charge.

How to be more consistent - a practical guide for husbands in Taken In Hand relationships

Submitted by Alan K on Fri, 13/07/2012 - 12:38

If you are a husband in a Taken In Hand marriage you won't want to miss this incredibly practical guide by Alan K. He has come up with some very simple but very effective solutions to very common problems. Brilliant!

Getting beyond the self

Submitted by Noone on Wed, 27/06/2012 - 17:26

This post was submitted by Noone on Fri, 11th February 2005 as a comment in the readers' forum, but when you read it you will wonder why it was not put on the front page before! [If you are reading this, Noone, please get in touch—The Editor]

Looking in the mirror

Submitted by Alan K on Tue, 26/06/2012 - 22:55

Don't miss Alan K's excellent advice if you are a man wanting to know how to introduce Taken In Hand into your marriage.

Pages

What people say about Taken In Hand

“[Taken In Hand] is not a regressive return to patriarchy but a more nuanced, sophisticated, informed form of relationship that is far more equal than mechanically-equal relationships! Bravo.”
- saint_UK

“[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal
woman. [T]hen I stumbled onto the Taken in Hand website. I have never felt such relief, such internal peace in my life. This whole idea of being loved and trusting enough in another to place my, his and our well-being into his hands was exactly what I have been searching for my whole life. I spent 16 hours just reading... It is like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
- Melissa

“It was my wonderful husband who made me ...see how a Taken In Hand relationship would be everything I ever wanted... Nothing... has ever changed me to such an extent... nor has anything been as liberating.”
- Peach

“[Taken In Hand is] a site advocating male led relationships, and it doesn't suffer from the flaws of BDSM that we've identified... It's a little too general, and too focused on marital relationships. But that aside, what it describes sounds a lot more authentically dominant than the BDSM I've seen. The [man is in control of the woman] in all spheres. But because he loves her and cares for her, he will behave within reason. Also, neither party has a way out, because they are married and believe marriage is for life. All that together makes this sort of relationship a lot more male dominant than typical BDSM ones. It's subversive, yet healthy and natural.”
- basilransom

“‘How does Taken In Hand help the man to feel positive about his relationship?’
Because it's SEXY. Because it allows him to dominate his woman in a loving and romantic way, which turns them both on and heats their love life up to a toasty sizzle. I see [Taken In Hand] as a chance for him to have fun flexing his manhood muscles and enjoy the thrill of dominating the woman he loves. That way it's a win-win situation for both of them. And it deepens the romantic bonds of love between us because few things can liven up a marriage like deep sexual passion.”
- DeeMarie

“[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many [men] will even think to aspire to.”
- Sara

“Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.”
- Louise

“First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.”
- Eric

“Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, [...], in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.”
- HoneyBun

“Taken In Hand: Fascinating... blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!”
- Polly Peachum

“The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.”
- Michael Masterson

“If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)”
- Jacqueline Passey

“There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.)
    Some of us don't even like thinking of this as a lifestyle. [...]
    If you are interested in this kind of relationship but are not interested in BDSM or D/s or DD or spanking websites, there's a new website for you: Taken In Hand”
     - Tom Newman

“Taken in Hand is a fascinating site. It’s refreshing to hear women speaking in those terms, standing up for core desires that are, for many people, an unpopular view...
What these women want, and apparently have found, is an experience and feeling of freedom to simply be who they desire to be. They have found REAL MEN.”
- J. Martinez

“If you're looking for real people who live a "male-led" relationship... check out the Taken In Hand site, which I found so much more colorful than Fifty Shades of Grey.”
- Kim

“[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with [control], and pleasure. [...] The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.”
- Dutchman

“Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really.”
- Louise C

“[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!”
- Malcolm

“[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are “seemingly” natural allies.”
- zbigdogX

“As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting [a Taken In Hand relationship]”
- GypsyGirl

““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website [...] [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other “traditional marriage” sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.”
- Dee

“Taken In Hand is actually a very important site for me and it helped a great deal in realizing how much women in general like to be dominated in their sexual relationship.”
- Athol Kay

“A very cool site”
- The Yeti

“Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women”
- Mary

“fantastic site”
- Danevah

“Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.”
- Frank Nelson

“Innately, women look for men able to take charge and come to despise the man failing to live up to that instinctive expectation.
Over the next several years—as footloose and fancy-free lifestyles become increasingly fraught with dubious outcomes amid turbulent circumstances—finding and maintaining stable relationships will become imperative. Although by no means a perfect solution for all problems, Taken In Hand can solve or reduce many marital difficulties.”
- Noone

“Un site remarquable”
- Camille Meudon

“Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful [...]”
- Katy

“a wonderful site”
- CoHC

“The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.”
- Revan

“What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was “different” than most.”
- Carla

“This website is just what I have been looking for for ages—but did not even know it! Have become weary of [other] sites, etc. They never really properly address the psychological components, all the subtleties [...] [A]nyway, thanks so much for existing, I have been telling my friends...hope your website sticks around forever!”
- A Girl From Texas

Taken In Hand

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